Is this how it's really supposed to be?

I asked myself this question today: "Is this how I really thought my life would be at 31?"

Let me fill you in on the details. This morning, I, being a diligent wife and homemaker, started laundry at 8:30 a.m. in hopes of getting three loads done before the afternoon. I stripped my bedsheets to get them going after the load of kids' clothes was finished. As I walked into the laundry room to throw the clothes into the dryer and put my mattress pad in the wash, I saw something black sticking out from my mattress pad. I took a closer look. A lizard...a dead lizard...black and erect...it's head sticking out from my mattress pad I guess saying his final farewell. A lizard apparently died in my bed sheets and found its final resting place stuck in the elastic ribbing along the edge of my mattress pad.

I screamed (internally so as not to startle the kids), and then I called Hunter (because I love to discover how he experiences things like this compared to me): "Come here...I've got something to show you. A dead lizard is in Mommy's sheets." Hunter looked with interest. I talked with him (because I couldn't be alone during a time like this) and tried to process how I was going to get rid of this intruder in my home, in my sheets...now dead. Ugggghhhh!!! I told Hunter: "I'm a little scared. I know I shouldn't be scared, but I'm a little scared." Hunter responded: "Just remember...God will keep you safe." Thanks, son. Part of me wanted to hug him for sharing something so true and right...the other part of me was rather annoyed by his calm heart, because I was freaking out and didn't need a theological answer from my 4 year old. BUT...it was sweet and hilarious.

The laundry had to get done. I cared more about completing that task than I did about facing my fear of getting rid of the dead lizard...did I mention he was in my bed sheets???!!! I picked up the mattress pad and gave it a shake toward the garbage can. Nothing. That lizard was stuck. His little claws were firmly planted in the mesh. I shook, and his body just flailed around...never bending...stiff as a board...in my sheets. I grabbed a pair of scissors and cut the last string of mesh that was holding the lizard to my mattress pad...and off the lizard went into my Chi-O paint penned trash can from college. Still in one piece...dead as can be.

And I ask...is this what I signed up for with marriage, kids, and life as a homemaker? Since we moved to Florida, I have dealt with more bugs, frogs, snakes, and lizards than I care to count. And I deal with them. But still I ask...are you kidding me? I didn't think being a mommy meant saving my children and my home from such rodents. But I do...and that's part of life right now.

I deal with other funny, scary, tedious, and wonderful things during my days. This afternoon, Hunter peed in the front row of the Publix parking lot. Millie was already in her car seat, he could not wait, and I could not stop him. So there he was for all of the Publix shoppers to see. What can you do? Again I asked: Is this how I really thought things would turn out? Ten years ago I was singing opera, living in Massey with my sorority sisters, pining after boys who I just knew would be my husband, and looking forward to my future.

Where am I today? Wiping bottoms, doing laundry (with dead lizards), living in Florida with my seminary husband...and loving where I am. I didn't love it this morning at 9:30 in the laundry room...but I do love it. I am thankful for my "right now," and I look forward to the future. Is this how I imagined it? Not really. BUT...how could I have ever imagined that a dead lizard and an overfull 4 year old bladder would offer me the adventure and joys and memories I will have forever. I do love being a mom. I don't like lizards. BUT...I will fight the lizards and get the laundry done...and feel a great sense of accomplishment knowing I have done and been exactly who God wants me to be today.