Tuesday, November 09, 2010

Who Left Me in Charge?

I'm home tonight. The kids are in bed, and Donny is out at a meeting. Thankfully, there haven't been many nights like this lately, but tonight was one of those nights when I was in charge. Daddy didn't come home from work/school, and I had the kids all day. It's funny. When I have days like that (probably because they aren't too frequent), I tend to do ok. I think God gives me what I need for the demands of days like today...and I rely on him more. On normal days I probably fail more miserably, because I put my trust in when Donny gets home or just making it to naptime or whatever.

Anyway, I had one of those funny moments as a parent tonight when I mumbled to myself: "Who left me in charge?" It was 7:00 p.m. - The kids were cuddled up on my bed watching a little of "Beauty and the Beast" before bed. Throughout the day I had schooled them, fed them, yelled at them, repented, gone to Bible Study, had a friend's daughter over for lunch, had naptime (for all of us), afternoon snacks, "Martha Speaks" at 4:30 (a daily ritual), play and clean up, dinner, baths, more cleaning, and then 30 minutes of their video before bed.

Oh...and before the video I tried to pull Hunter's 2nd loose tooth. I think of all the "big girl/mommy" things I did today, trying to pull his tooth was one thing that really makes me feel like a mommy and a child all at once. Really? Am I old enough to have a child losing teeth? I remember my dad taking dental floss to my loose teeth to pull them out...and that's just what I did tonight. I don't really fight the teeth, so we'll give it another go tomorrow, but it just feels so weird to be pulling my baby's baby teeth. Who left me in charge?

As the kids were in my room watching "Beauty and the Beast," I had another "moment." "Beauty and the Beast" was my favorite movie as a little girl/young teen. Belle is still my favorite princess. I had dreams of being Belle in the Disney stage show at Hollywood Studios (MGM when I was younger). Anyway, it was really weird and wonderful to hear those familiar songs (which I still know by heart) coming from my room while my two children watched, snuggled together as close as they could be, one chewing on my favorite blanket (I know because I just got under the blanket and a corner is wet), and I feel like I was just there a few years ago. It's too fun and too weird all at the same time.

Oh, and did I mention that I have a child growing inside of me? Today was the first day that I could watch my belly and actually see a hand/elbow/foot move across my belly. Donny calls it the "Alien" stage. I have been able to feel him/her for a while and have seen the bumps here and there...but today it was something moving across my insides, and I could see it on the outside. There is a baby growing inside of me. Really? Who left me in charge?

Thankfully, of course, I'm not really in charge...but I do sometimes wonder what God is doing entrusting me with so much. I am thankful for the gifts of our children and the time I have with them. Loose teeth, Disney movies, breakfast for dinner - these are sweet memories we are making...and they bring back some sweet memories of my own childhood. For now, God has given me and Donny charge over our family's little life, and I will embrace the responsibility and will hopefully repent when I begrudge it.

Even though I know I am not ultimately in charge, when I have to make a mommy-sized decision when I feel like a little girl myself, I still have to ask myself : Who left me in charge?

What a gift to be the mommy to these three little ones.

But sometimes moments like losing a tooth can make me ask...

...who left me in charge???
(I'm on the left with my sister)